"A rigid mind is very sure, but often wrong.
A flexible mind is generally unsure, but often right."
- Vanda Scaravelli
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Hello friend!
What are you celebrating this week on your healing journey?
Mid-Point
This week's Mid-Point sheds light on black and white (rigid) thinking.
Black and white thinking is generally considered problematic and distortive, especially for those with chronic rigid thoughts due to coping with complex trauma.
I am no stranger this type of thinking, as I have experienced the unrealistic expectations and inability to adapt due to such cut and dry thought processes.
Benefits of Rigid Thinking
However, some benefit can be gained because rigid thinking offers an underlying message of awareness. Here are some benefits I am gaining from the shades of "gray" - learning to focus beyond black and white.
The Bigger Picture
As a rigid thinker, I have been less likely to see the greater whole. As I develop an awareness beyond extremes, I am able to discern more options, opportunities, and possibilities. I also discover greater flexibility, adaptability, and empathy for the less than absolutes that exist in this spectrum of no extremes. To think everything can be compartmentalized neatly and cleanly is a fallacy. Life is messy.
Perfection Is An Illusion
Unrealistic expectations, difficulty with change, and fear of failure are byproducts of perfectionistic and black and white thinking. Infinite possibility means there is no perfect answer, look, time, place, outcome, etc. Opposites can exist simultaneously (i.e. good people can make bad decisions). We operate in a world full of contrast which helps us discern the gray. I am learning to take action even when the timing doesn't seem "perfect".
Reframing
Instead of using words that convey absolute truths and all-or-nothing conclusions (i.e. always, never, nothing, good, bad, right, wrong, easy, impossible), I can reframe it through flexibility. Using a soft tone and words that allow open-endedness, curiosity, and feedback, this brings me ease and lessens the harshness of my rigid thoughts. This is especially helpful in my self-talk. We tend to speak most harsh to ourselves and I am learning to speak kindly instead.
Decision Making
Black and white thinking can offer a sense of certainty and clarity, but this is not to be mistaken for a sense of control. There are times where decisions must be made quickly and on-the-fly with minimal information. However, most decisions are made based on a number of factors including emotions, evidence, knowledge, and desired outcome - or the grey areas - and do not always benefit from being based on absolutes.
Empowerment
Black and white thinking can feed into victim mentality. Many of us living with complex trauma feel victimized. However, we have the power of personal responsibility. By recognizing my rigid thoughts, I am able to empower myself to acknowledge there are other sides to the story, I am capable of looking at the greater whole, being open and accepting, and choosing less resistant words that enable me to move more easily through the spectrum of no extremes.
Re-Cap
Black and white (rigid) thinking is generally considered problematic for many reasons, especially for those of us living with complex trauma - it distorted our thought processes into absolutes. However, it is possible to think beyond extremes and recognize some of the benefits of thinking rigidly:
Resilience comes with empowerment
Words can be reframed with flexibility
How to make informed decisions
Focus on bigger the picture
Perfect doesn't exist
Where to Find Help
โhttps://www.chconline.org/resourcelibrary/10-ways-to-reduce-rigidness-decrease-anxiety-increase-flexibility-and-have-more-fun/โ
(No sponsorship or affiliation.)
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